Moving on isn't so easy

When you’ve been heart broken, it seems like life passes you by without the courtesy of asking you if you want to come along. There always seems to be something missing from your life when you’re single. Even personal accomplishments like losing weight, finishing school, moving into your first home, or getting that dream job, all seem to falter in accomplishments when you don’t have someone “special” to celebrate that life with. Meanwhile, everyone else in the world seems to move on, finding love, starting a family, and they feel complete. Even if they don’t have anything else or even half of what you have- they have a family and that seems to trump your personal best.

It especially hurts when someone you saw yourself being with has done this while you’re still waiting. I mean, sure it just mean they weren’t meant for you, but why in the hell is it taking so long for you to meet “the one”? Despite your best efforts you seem to always lose in that category. You can have the damn accomplishments in the world but they honestly don’t mean much if your heart is empty or broken.

So what do us “losers” do? What do we do about being “the last one standing” with no future prospects on the horizon and the world in our hand? Sitting back and watching all those of our failed relationships past move on with their “one” as we watch with nothing to do but ask questions the questions that start with “why.”

Why wasn’t that us?
Why wasn’t I “the one”?
Why weren’t you “the one?
Why haven’t I found “the one”?
Why do you get to beat me in the love game?
Why? Why? Why am I still standing here?

All these questions that arise in your head and you can’t help but wonder if you will even find the answer. On the upside, these questions do force you to be stronger because you will not get an answer. You don’t get the answer until you’ve found what you’re looking for. But you won’t get the answer soon, so you must find your way on your own. You must move on with your life, for the time being, until someone comes along with the answers.

The answer will be in the form of “the one,” but who really knows if you’ll really get an answer? You’ve waited so long and tried so hard, but you still get nothing for your patience, so who’s to say it will come. They always say, “Be patient. It will happen for you?” But seriously, how long does it take? I for one have been waiting for 11 years. Eleven depressing years and still…I’m answerless.

Sorry folks, but I refuse to give you the cheery pep talk about finding “the one” when it has eluded me for over a decade. I have idea if we ever find our answer. If our lives will ever be fulfilled with love and a family. All those things that make us feel whole even when we’ve accomplished nothing. I see people who seem to find love easier than finding the right deodorant. I have no idea if things happen the way people they should, but if I was to venture a guess I’d have to be negative Nancy and say no.

You can be good, accomplished, and patient, all those things people tell you to be while looking for love and it may still never happen. I can’t imagine being head over heels in love anymore. I have no idea what feels to be in love so I cannot manifest the feeling to attract it. Perhaps if you have been in love before and know the feeling, then you might have better luck than I have had, but I can’t make any promises.

Do what you can to make your joy come true for you because in the end, you still have to deal with yourself. So you might as well make yourself happy.