I Prefer the DON'T GIVE UP APPROACH

I prefer the don’t give up approach.

So as I was trying to fall asleep last night--or this morning, whatever—I found myself thinking of random things regarding my life and my books. I started thinking about how I’m still young at 31 and still have years and years ahead of me and that I shouldn’t let it slip away because I’m worried about not succeeding. Then I think about where I am in life and how I’ve made some great leaps and bounds and that I’ve accomplished a lot more than I know.

I’ve written three books, although I only have two to show for it. I’ve discipline myself enough to know that my writing comes first and everything else is second. And I’ve moved out on my own, got a car and I’m doing what I can to take care of myself. In a nutshell, I’m successful, but I’m not done. I’ve accomplished a lot, but I’m not done.

So as I rattle my brain about writing the perfect query letter to send to agents so I can get published, I’m constantly fighting myself to get it right. I have been working on my second book for a full year now and while I’m much, much closer than I was then, I’m still not published. Well, at least with my book. I was successful at getting a very personal poem published, so that does make me a published author.

Still, writing this query letter has been the hardest thing. My book ain’t so easy to explain and every time I get close I read it again and realize that I’m miles apart. I have this thing where I keep starting and stopping and for some reason I don’t know why I do that. I have all these thoughts going through my head and I can’t find a way to quiet them.

Funny thing about that last line is that I actually have a book that is recommended by every writer’s guild book to read called, “Bird by Bird.” I started reading and stopped because I really thought it wasn’t helping. It’s a book about writing a book and that part I know. I don’t need help writing the book, it’s the query letter.

But maybe there is something in there that I should be reading. Maybe I’m denying myself success because I’m not being patient enough.

By the time I finish this blog I would have stopped, checked the internet, started, stopped checked out what was on TV, started, stopped, started, started, stop-started, stopped, gone to the kitchen and started again until I’ve finished. I might even sneak in a workout before this is done.

I’m easily distracted, which doesn’t make me a lazily writer. I don’t know what my job is here, but I know I want to finish this post. I wrote that line without thinking about it and to my surprise it makes sense. I don’t know why I need to write this, but I need too. I also don’t know if I should go work out or take a nap or both. Either way, I’m stepping away from the computer right now, because I know that’s what I need to do.

Well, since my last stop I took a nap for two hours, worked out for 30 minutes, took a nice long bath, cooked lunched and watched two full episodes of Sex and the City. I’m feeling much better than earlier when I literally didn’t know what to do next.

My body was telling me it needed rest, but I thought I was being lazy. Turns out that’s exactly what it needed so I gave it to it. When I woke up I needed energy so I powered through my first workout of the day. Then I needed fuel so I ate. Now I’m awake, energized and motivated to write. I received something in the mail that might lead me to the answers I’m looking for about my writing. Let’s hope my next blog will prove to be right.