You know you are wrong. Something about the whole thing seems all wrong. The way it started. The way it ended. The way it feels right now. Nothing feels like you anymore. You’re not even sure if the decisions you make will pay-off in the end. Everything is just as dull as it seems.
That’s the feeling I have now after having a big fight over something little. I feel like I might have made the wrong decision. I feel like I fell in love with the wrong person, or at least the wrong type of person. It’s true that every fight we have we learn something, but how many fights do we have to have to learn everything? How many things must be broken before we can put the pieces back together in the right place?
Is there a right place? Perhaps the garbage. But maybe I’m being a bit dramatic for the occasion. I guess this is the stuff people sweep up and hide under the carpet. The dirt in the relationship. The stuff you don’t want people to see. The stuff you don’t want to see. But no matter where you hide it, it’s still in the room. You still have to step on that carpet. You still have to live with it. It’s still there.
So how do you get out?
Do you get it out?
Do you just move to a new mess and take the old mess with you?
Love is the most evil thing in the world. It doesn’t tell you anything, it just feels. It just convinces you that you are happy and everything is fine and life is full of bubbles and candy. It blinds you from that dirt under the carpet.
It lies and lies and blinds and blinds.
It’s stupid and dumb.
It’s okay because later I’ll say I was wrong. It’s convince me that it’ll get better. But I know now, Love is wrong.
Friday, February 12, 2010
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